Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

"You won't admitt you love me, and so
How am I ever to know,
You only tell me
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps.

A million times I ask you, and then
I ask you over again
You only answer
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps"

Ok, for those of you who've been talking to me on the phone, this post is at last the final answer to the most recent Brokeback Mountain conterversy plauging me, and therefore also plauging those who converse with me regularly. To those of you who don't speak to me regularly on the phone - I promise to try to make this my last post about Brokeback Mountain ...for a while.

The question has been, since I recently saw the movie again on DVD over Easter - in the scene where Jack goes to Mexico, a song is playing in the background in Spanish. I thought I recongized the song. (I would like it noted here for the record that one can be obsessed with a movie and just because you happen to know a song that happens to be in the movie is purely coincidence and doesn't necessarily make you a freak.)

After the scene I would find myself humming the Spanish song, and with shock I thought that Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps? Cake released a CD in 1995 on their album Fashion Nugget (which was a highly influential album for me in my 10th grade year and I really recommend it. For a while it was all we played in the high school journalism office. Perhaps... has special meaning for me because of that year and a prank involving an answering machine.)

It struck me too, that the lyrics are stunningy appropriate for that scene. If you don't know what I'm talking about see the movie again - and you should see the movie again no matter what. (C'mon, seeing a movie once is like not seeing it at all.)

"If you can't make your mind up
We'll never get started
And I don't want to wind up
Being parted Broken Hearted

So if you really love me, say Yes
And if you don't, dear, confess
But please don't tell me
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps"

My intense research has revealed that the song Quizás, Quizás, Quizás was written by Osvaldo Farrés in Cuba in 1947 and recorded by Nat King Cole in 1958, therefore making it non-anaronistic to the film (we call that "Period") and rerecorded by Cake in '95.

If you're interested in this it's easy to find a direct translation of the lyrics online. Posted here are the English lyrics as Cake sings them.

Being someone who cares about movies and loves, LOVES, when a film is done well, I hope this new knowledge of the lyrics to the incidental Spanish song brings you to deeper understanding of the charcter and closer to the message of the film.

I don't think it's a mistake that the lyrics reflect so well the character's state of mind and situation. As a friend said to me recently while embroiled in this discussion "everything in a good production is a choice." So you film and theatre fans who want to shrug at me and say to yourselves - "Man, she needs to get over it!" (and I do) is it possible that what's playing in the background in that scene has no impact on the greater movie? Could it be that I am over-analyzing this?

"Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps"

But I feel better knowing and sharing that knowledge with you.

You are Ennis Del Mar. Fair, strong, and willful, you take time to consider your decisions and you stand by what you believe in.

It had to happen....
Among all the things I've wasted my time doing today, I finally found the What Brokeback Mountain character are you? quiz that I (ahem) approve of. Even so, it's not very good, so someone should show me how to make quizes on this machine and I'll make you a quiz that will knock you flat on you're, well, you know.
Also, you can guess that I scored 100% correct on the How Obsessed are You with Brokeback Mountain quiz - and the person who wrote it doesn't know how to spell Alma.

Just so you know - I'm probably nowhere near done with this topic, but I will move on because this is going to be a subject of much discussion for probably, say...the rest of my life.

Vital Stats (I'll try and keep it brief and update more frequently)

River Report: the river crested the Wednesay after my last post and we didn't get as much rain as expected so all's well. Now it's a matter of mobilizing volunteers to take down the sandbags.

Weather Report: Gorgeous and sunny! A little windy and chilly if you're outside without a jacket but BEAUT-IEFUL! Like butter!

After School Program: Over for the school year! Aww! I'm going to miss those kids, but I've got a little over a month to figure out what's going on next year - and pull together the summer program! Oi vey!

What else am I doing: Community Organizer training with the People Escaping Poverty Project...it's really exciting/interesting. I'll have to tell you more about it some time.

Musical of the Month: Jesus Christ Superstar! Duh!

Easter: Went home and saw my mom and brothers and spent a little time with the puppies. Talked politics, movies, movies and movies, it was good.

Train Status: Dropped me off in Fargo at 4 a.m. this morning!

Movies I'm looking forward to: Da Vinci Code, X3, Pirates 2, and Thank You for Smoking. Right now no solid plans to see any of them.

Recipe of the weekend: Oh, I don't know but I recently experimented with Sam's Enchilada recipe and modified it to include spinach, brocoli, tomatos, peppers, shallots, corn and some black beans. It actually worked too! They were quite tasty!

Oh in other news: My Peace Corps application has been submitted. So in about a year from now I should (hopefully) be getting stationed somewhere?

Got something to say? Sure you do! Post a comment!

(here's a picture of me from a couple months ago. I have to post it on here so I can put it on my profile. Actually, I don't look like this now because I dyed my hair RED with magic henna, but it's been losing color rapidly. I bought this shirt in Fargo just before Christmas. Do you like it? Funny, because I'm wearing it right now.)

The River is Rising!

I got an excited call from my supervisor on Friday because the Red River is flooding, as I understand it does every year, but when she said she wanted my help coordinating a Concordia College Flood Response I didn't know what to think. My first thought was that houses were under water. This has not been the case yet, though I was told the river has gone up three feet a day and is expected to crest at 37 feet on Wednesday - which is 3ft less than it was during the Flood of '97 which I learned in Hurricane Relief training was serious business.

So, we're not dealing with houses under water yet, just trees, parks, baseball fields, one basketball court that I saw with the water up to the headboard and one bridge submerged. Students are mobilizing to fill sandbags and help homowners dyke their property. Roads are closed and the city is putting up dykes in the street to stop the water from coming into town. That's the good news.

The bad news is it's supposed to rain. It was supposed to rain all day yesterday but it didn't, but it's raining now and we don't know when it will stop or how high the river is going to get - so we keep our fingers crossed and our phones on and wonder right now if classes will be canceled tomorrow so students can go out and help homeowners prepare to deal with rising water.

Personally I'm sick of rising water. I saw that basketball hoop today and I didn't expect to be so affected by the image - but I've seen a lot of crazy stuff this year, and I haven't yet written a post about my Mississippi trip.

Also this weekend I was on a board retreat for a nonprofit in town. I'm on the board of the People Escaping Poverty Project which does a lot of really cool grassroots organizng around issues that affect people in poverty and mobilizng them towards change. I'm really proud to be part of this organization and wish I could stay in the community longer so I could contribute more, but I learned a lot this weekend about strategic planning, framing issues, fundraising and more. I get to go to PEPP organizer training for three Saturdays in April and I'm really looking forward to learning a lot there.

All in all it was a busy weekend - but I also managed to finally hammer out those Peace Corps application essays! I hope to send in my application within the next week. Now I'm tired and hungry and doubtful I can make it to the grocery store and back before it's time to work out and watch The West Wing - so I'm just updating the ol' blog to say look for an upcoming Vital Stats April.

And Brokeback Mountain comes out on DVD Thursday. If you don't hear from me for a while you know why.