You're not the boss of me!
The contents of this website are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U.S. government or the Peace Corps, of which I am a proud volunteer.

I was probably the only person in North America (when I was in North America) who anxiously awaiting the day a proud Muslim person would come knock on my door and ask it I'd like to learn more about the Prophet Mohammad. I would love to learn more!

Because I have a sincere interest in other people's faiths, and I think it can never hurt us to learn more about faith and what our brothers and sisters believe, I have entered into study-relationships with two different sets of missionaries. I have been doing Bible study for about eight months now with a Romanian girl who speaks English that I met because she knocked on my door, and I recently engaged another group of American missionaries that are in town. I'm interested to know more.

It probably doesn't help that all of my Peace Corps friends went on vacation at the same time and I am working from home on the internet so that doesn't leave me anyone to talk to. And its amazing how much you have in common with other Americans you have nothing in common with once you're in Romania together.

I was enjoying weekly talks with both sets of missionaries. It was nice to have someone in my life to remind me that spiritual pursuits require time and energy which should be dedicated to study, prayer and self examination. Fine. But now both groups are making greater demands on my time. One group wants to see me three times a week including church on Sunday, and my other friend whom I've known longer - who's never invited me anywhere not even on Easter - has finally invited me to church this Sunday. When I told the other missionaries this, they seemed offended. They weren't outright mean, but they definitely put pressure on me to come to their church. I thought I could just go to one church this week and another one next week and then I realized: they both want me to come to church with them every week.

At first I was kind of shy and embarrassed. I tried to think of something placating to say. I wondered how I could get out of going to church with the other person. I felt like I owed them. They made me feel like I had broken a promise. Like I was disappointing them. Then, later I got angry. I don't deserve to be stressed out about this. It isn't a competition. Both of these Christian denominations should just be glad I'm going to church at all and not trying to convince me that theirs in the one true church.

This I think is representative of everything I find frustrating about Christianity. And while desperately trying to remain a Christian, increase my knowledge and my faith, this kind of thing really makes me want to chuck the whole thing and stay home and watch cartoons in Romanian. Although I don't exactly feel justified since the missionaries weren't outright mean about it. They just made me feel kind of bad.

They said it was an opportunity for me to ask God to reveal to me which house I was supposed to be in on Sunday. So I did. Though, unhappy that they were putting me in this position I asked God "If it's important to You which church I go to on Sunday please indicate to me where you would like me to go."

We'll see what happens, but until then I'm shaking off this pressure by reminding myself that this is only One Sunday of my life and really, which church I worship in is so not important. They're both going to be in Romanian anyway.