Hyper-sensitive or How I experience culture shock

Disclaimer: The contents of this website are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U.S. government or the Peace Corps

I've been thinking lately about how crabby I am at some people's comments about culture. I think I've come to realize this has something to do with my experience of culture shock.

They told us in Peace Corps training we would experience culture shock but no one could really explain what that would look like. Some said it would be the day you broke down and cried in the post office because the woman behind the desk was rude to you (or more rude than usual) or a day you were so homesick you couldn't get out bed. A friend of mine who spent three months in Costa Rica said he experienced a culture shock that made him hate Costa Rica because of all the problems in that country and the stress things he saw as "wrong" with the country caused him. (I'm paraphrasing here because he told me this more than four months ago and said he hadn't experienced anything like it in Romania.)

I haven't had any days where I hated Romania. In fact every time I'm asked "Do you like it here in Romania?" I'm able to respond with a heartfelt yes, I like Romania. I think Romania is a country with problems - like every country, but in a lot of ways it is refreshing to get some distance from the USA and all of its problems. I like Romania. So I thought I hadn't really experienced any culture shock. I noticed things that were different, and have always done my best to "roll with it." I have been heard to earnestly exclaim "we're Peace Corps volunteers, we're flexible!" and have mostly given up my American notions of getting things done in a hurry.

Lately I have come to realize that my reaction to other peoples comments about culture is disproportionate to the offense given by the remark. I am hyper-sensitive. It started back in training when friends from home whom I haven't been in touch with for a while made innocent jokes about Romania on my facebook page I became furiously angry at their ignorance*. I know these comments were intended to be funny and that a lot of people in US just don't know anything about Romania-I didn't really know anything about Romania a year ago. I tried to respond in a similarly humorous tone, while setting them straight, but I was still angry. *except for vampire jokes. I don't like the vampire stereotype, but I think vampire jokes are funny.

It even got to the point where I was irritated with people from home who displayed an ignorance about how Peace Corps works. I don't know how I could expect you guys at home to know about that stuff but be assured that if you made an erroneous statement about PC instead of asking a question, I was probably a little irritated with you.

I had a similar experience to this when I was in Mississippi and well meaning friends and family members would congratulate me on volunteering in New Orleans and a fiery venom would burst fourth from my lungs proclaiming I'M NOT IN NEW ORLEANS. I'M IN MISSISSIPPI! GOD! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT MORE THAN NEW ORLEANS WAS HIT BY THE HURRICANE?!!!!

What was that about?

Then I became aware that I am feeling immensely crabby at comments made by other volunteers about Romania. Every time I hear "it's even good by US standards" or "almost as good as in the US" it lights a little flame of anger in my soul. Little things like "fresh honey is one of the best things about Romania" elicits an undeserved response of "Way to reduce an entire culture down to fresh honey!"** in my head. **If you said this, I'm not angry at you, it was just a recent example.

Rarely do I tell other volunteers about their tiny offenses that irk me - unless it's something major that seriously needs to be addressed. And so far I'm glad I haven't brought it up because there are so many little things it seems petty - but maybe if I had I would have realized sooner that my anger is a little intense; that I'm spending an increasing about of time peeved with everyone.

Assumptions that everything is naturally better in the US make me furious. But I don't think the volunteers who make these statements of assumption or bad people, nor are they trying to say the USA is better at everything than Romania. It's just what comes out of your mouth. I guess it's kind of natural with the way we Americans were socialized. I know they don't mean to sound like jerks. I don't even think Romanians think we're as jerky as I do. I'm just tired of comparisons.

It's hard to realize that you're going through culture shock though. It's one of those things that appears to you - perfectly rational and justified. It's kind of like experiencing PMS or being drunk and angry - you think the way you're reacting is totally reasonable. Until you realize it isn't.

I know I'm not innocent of this either. But it's always easier to be upset about what's wrong with everyone else. This weekend I just said to my Romanian co-worker "I don't have one of those round pizza cutters. I should get my mom to send me one" and she said "you know we have those here, in Romania."

And I've been feeling like a jerk for two days. Surely that's not normal. Surely this has something to do with culture shock.

Or maybe I'm just a bitch.