(here's a picture of me from a couple months ago. I have to post it on here so I can put it on my profile. Actually, I don't look like this now because I dyed my hair RED with magic henna, but it's been losing color rapidly. I bought this shirt in Fargo just before Christmas. Do you like it? Funny, because I'm wearing it right now.)

The River is Rising!

I got an excited call from my supervisor on Friday because the Red River is flooding, as I understand it does every year, but when she said she wanted my help coordinating a Concordia College Flood Response I didn't know what to think. My first thought was that houses were under water. This has not been the case yet, though I was told the river has gone up three feet a day and is expected to crest at 37 feet on Wednesday - which is 3ft less than it was during the Flood of '97 which I learned in Hurricane Relief training was serious business.

So, we're not dealing with houses under water yet, just trees, parks, baseball fields, one basketball court that I saw with the water up to the headboard and one bridge submerged. Students are mobilizing to fill sandbags and help homowners dyke their property. Roads are closed and the city is putting up dykes in the street to stop the water from coming into town. That's the good news.

The bad news is it's supposed to rain. It was supposed to rain all day yesterday but it didn't, but it's raining now and we don't know when it will stop or how high the river is going to get - so we keep our fingers crossed and our phones on and wonder right now if classes will be canceled tomorrow so students can go out and help homeowners prepare to deal with rising water.

Personally I'm sick of rising water. I saw that basketball hoop today and I didn't expect to be so affected by the image - but I've seen a lot of crazy stuff this year, and I haven't yet written a post about my Mississippi trip.

Also this weekend I was on a board retreat for a nonprofit in town. I'm on the board of the People Escaping Poverty Project which does a lot of really cool grassroots organizng around issues that affect people in poverty and mobilizng them towards change. I'm really proud to be part of this organization and wish I could stay in the community longer so I could contribute more, but I learned a lot this weekend about strategic planning, framing issues, fundraising and more. I get to go to PEPP organizer training for three Saturdays in April and I'm really looking forward to learning a lot there.

All in all it was a busy weekend - but I also managed to finally hammer out those Peace Corps application essays! I hope to send in my application within the next week. Now I'm tired and hungry and doubtful I can make it to the grocery store and back before it's time to work out and watch The West Wing - so I'm just updating the ol' blog to say look for an upcoming Vital Stats April.

And Brokeback Mountain comes out on DVD Thursday. If you don't hear from me for a while you know why.

I am the Great and Powerful OZ!

That's THE WORD on the Colbert Report I-don't-know-when-but-it-was-on-last-night. Check it out. I'm not remiss to be posting Colbert Report clips because I've still outposted The Daily Show. And this is some brilliant political comedy writing! Pay attention to the Colbert Report and pay attention to The Word!

http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_colbert_report/index.jhtml

What does it take to get me to update my blog these days?

Sorry, I haven't updated in so long. Luckily it's laundry week! Where was I last laundry week (two weeks ago)? I was coming down from returning from my second trip to the Gulf Coast - what an experience - and it was too soon to write anything. Also while I was doing my laundry I was on the phone.

So you'll have to bear with me as I post a bunch of random musings. It's been so long I can hardly still comment on the academy awards which I had so looked forward to (and went pretty much exactly as I'd expected). But I will say the Oscar Goes to George Clooney for best acceptance speech.

Happy Anniversary! to me. I'd hoped to publish this sooner on my blog because it is something very special to me. March is my 1 year anniversary of being a vegitarian! Something I'm very proud of because for a long time I didn't think I could do it. While it's been a year, with a few mistakes but mostly successes and I'm very happy with myself. I recently learned that Monday March 20th is The Great American Meatout (www.meatout.org) It's also the First Day of Spring, and it would mean a lot to me, if you're interested if you decided to not eat meat at all for one day and see how it is. I'm not saying everyone has to become a vegitarian because I don't want that - for my sake. It's a personal decision. But if you choose to not eat meat for a day - in honor of the meatout, in honor of my anniversary or in honor of anything at all - I would be honored.

Vital Stats
The musical of the month is neither a musical or a month, but I've been listening to the Velvet Goldmine soundtrack a lot lately so, so should you.

After School Program : Going good! Working hard on figuring out how the program will be sustained next year, and trying to make sense of how we run the summer program.

Recipe of the weekend: Actually it's Garlic and Herb flavored Gormet Dog Buscuits. I made a treat to send to my brother's puppies back home. I still smell like garlic.

Transamerica
I'm not one for reviewing every movie that I see, but this one craved two comments. Look out - spoiler alert! For the most part I enjoyed it a great deal and I wish that Felicity Huffman could have one the Oscar, but didn't see Walk The Line so there you have it. Two things about this movie slightly offended me though.

• The young man about to discover that his father is a preoperative transexual has been working as a street hustler - having sex with men for money. He later moves into the gay-porn arena. The boy's sexuality is never touched on in the film - and that's what bothers me. Not that it matters. I know that a person can sell sex to members of the same sex and not be gay - but the film doesn't make that point to the audience. Maybe it's not all that important but I feel like the point could have stood being made, especially since the young man is also the victim of sexual abuse - which makes it even easier to sell sex since he sees it merely as a way to make money, not as an emotional interaction between two people in a relationship. I suppose anyone interested in seeing this movie probably doesn't need all this explained to them, but I felt it could have been another educational element of a film which already does so much to humanize and bring to light people of trans experience and other-than-manstream-sexual-experience.
• However, here's what really bothered me: If you're trying to be a supportive parent and build a relationship with an estranged child and you find out said child is working in the Porn industry - and you don't want to alienate them further by yelling at them - hence "trying to build a relationship" - the first thing out of your mouth should be ARE YOU BEING SAFE?! Am I crazy to think we can't afford to miss an opportunity to talk about safe sex? Especially for those acting in porn! This is important! And it's something a supportive parent would ask. It's neither a condemnation nor is it a free pass to all the filmed gay sex one can make a profit off of - it's a serious issue and something that deserved to be mentioned. CONDOMS, people! Condoms. Whether you're in pornos or not, but especially if you are in pornos!

Random Thought: Last weekend I was standing at a salad bar - after I saw Transamerica and I though about a scene in which the father/mother and son couple pick up a hitchhiker who claims to be a vegan. Normally I'm against picking up hitchikers but it occured to me - if you knew your passenger was a vegitarian would that make it easier? I think a vegitarian is a lot less likely to murder you in cold blood. That's just my opinion - but it brings me back to where I started!

Post comments! I love comments and I never get them!

In Praise of Brendan Fraser

Now I don’t usually update my blog on Wednesdays but I’m leaving for my conference in Minneapolis later today. You might have forgotten I was Looking Forward to: This conference because my Vital Stats entry for the month of February has mysteriously disappeared!

However, (if you’re my friend) you won’t have forgotten that the Academy Awards are coming up March 5th – and my life is pretty crazy up until then (with going to Minneapolis, coming back, going to Mississippi and all that) and this is one of those years I can get pretty crazy about the Academy Awards (I think the last time I really cared was the year ROTK was nominated for everything – and won!)

But in the run up to the awards, I’d like to take a moment to appreciate an actor who to my knowledge has never been nominated for an academy award, but has given us some really good work: Brendan Fraser.

I know what you’re saying, - Brendan Fraser, yeah we’ll always remember him from Encino Man. But wait a minute! The guy’s done some good stuff. Forget about George of the Jungle. Forget about Looney Tunes Back in Action and definitely forget about Monkey Bone!

Brendan Fraser has been really good in some movies, and has done his share of, if not controversial, let’s say socially conscience roles. He’s part of the ensemble cast of Crash, nominated for Best Picture (and winner at the SAG awards). He was in School Ties (with Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and let’s not forget Anthony Rapp), and a bad film version of Twilght of the Golds, (but he was good in it.) I myself am rather partial to With Honors, also staring Joe Pesci – that’s a good movie!

And I almost forgot about Gods and Monsters!

I saw Brendan Fraser on stage in the west end in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. He played Brick opposite Ned Betty’s Big Daddy, with hair plugs– now, I love Cat on a Hot Tin Roof as much as the next guy and he wasn't stellar, but he had good moments, and good moments are what you need (probably) for movies. For not being a stage actor, I was satisfied.

So, before we forget what making and watching films is all about and get all competitive and argumentative about who’s the best (-don’t have anyone in your life to argue movies with – call me) I just want to take a moment to appreciate the work of one talented actor out there: Brendan Fraser. Maybe he’s not the best actor working, certainly not the most recognized, but he has done good work and some of it has moved me. And I appreciate it.

Despite our best intentions...
sometimes we just have to listen to what our bodies tell us they need. For instance, I thought I was going to work until 6:30 every night this week and then go work out for an hour. That didn't happen. Instead on Monday my body was telling me that it was much more important that I go home and eat spaghetti than work out, since I'd seen the Daily Show episode for that day already anway. And I should also have an Erbert and Gerberts sandwhich for lunch. With Cheetos.

Clearly I was going to have one of those weeks where I feel the urgent need to eat anything I get my hands on, whether I'm hungry or not. Plus anything you mention to me becomes an instant craving. Tuesday I had a pint of Ben & Jerry's for supper (and the only Ben & Jerry's I could find was Vanilla Heathbar. Given my current raging obession with Heath Ledger, clearly this is God thinking she's funny!) And last night my inner college student that will never completely go away ate free cheese pizza until I thought I was going to be sick!

The point to all of this is - sometimes your body knows what it needs. I used to have a week like this exactly once-a-month. Now I haven't had one in probably more than a year. I think it's good for someone who excercises regularly (or tries to) to take a week off and catch up on junk food and sleeping on the couch. Or if not, what I'm trying to say is I'm not going to feel bad about my abberant behavior this week, not because I'm a woman - not for any reason. In fact precisely because I'm a woman is why I choose to feel good about it! Because if my body tells me it needs Ben & Jerry's, Ben & Jerry's it shall have!

Now, if you don't mind. I'm going to go home and spend sometime with a heating pad watching The Shawshank Redemption.

End Radio Silence

I just got off the phone with Verizon Wireless because last night, being the 2nd of the month I thought I'd go crazy and place a call to Natalie (Natalie doesn't read blogs so I can call her names and stuff her like Natalie Watalie...) when I was told my phone had been suspended...Meaning someone at Verizon through the massive switch turning off all my calling privleges!

But rest assured my good friends who have been trying to call me every night at 9:00 I'm sure for the past two days, I had them turn it back on. They're so crazy there at Verizon. Everytime I call they're like "Nicole called us and told us you're not supposed to be using her phone," and I'm like "That's impossible!" and they're like "no she called on Jan. 28th" - "No that was ME!"

So confusion abound, but now it should be settled. Thankfully! Whew!
But wait? Why haven't you been able to call me for two days if I just found out my phone was shut off last night? Well, that's because my good friend Chris and her bf Dave, stopped by on their way to Seattle and I had my phone off all night while cooking them dinner and going out for a beer. It was a fun night, and Chris-with the power of the allmighty laptop-showed me some really funny internet cartoons! A good time was had by all I hope.

So I met Dave! He does exist. Or if he doesn't, our little Chris is into some powerful witchcraft!

I'd like to thank the Academy...

I would like to say that this is my last post about Brokeback Mountain, however I can make no such promises.

8 Academy Award nominations! Eight! That's huge! Count them with me: Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Actor, Best Cinematography, Best Original Score, Best Screenplay Adaptation, Best Director and BEST PICTURE!
(I would like to add a nomination for best use of Randy Quaid)

Now, my money is on best Best Screenplay Adaptation hands down, and also best director. I'm thrilled that they were nominated for Best Picture, but I don't expect it to win. The awards are, after all very political and I don't believe the country is ready to make Brokeback Mountain best picture. I wouldn't be sad if Crash won.

The thing that gets to me is that there are still so many douche bags out there in who won't go see this movie becaue they're afraid of what it might be. (And I'm not going to name states - because they're everywhere.) And it's unfortunate they won't see it because their fears might be confirmed (fear of what? I'm not sure. That they might empathize with people who love each other perhaps?) but probably not. It's just a damn good movie. I agree with Sam who said it's possible to read your own views on homosexuality into the movie, and Christianity Today agrees with their startlingly honest review (and disapointingly stupid comments on said review).

I think some people don't know what to do with these characters because they're so masculine and until now homosexuality has been defined for some people by Queer Eye and Will & Grace. So don't challenge yourself and see it. But, agendas aside - it has no agenda; It is a haunting love story and an equally haunting look at our own history. A history so recent it can hardly be called history. So recent I can see it when I look back to high school.

So to all you douch bags out there who've been up on your soap box about this film - as long as your on your soapbox over there, I'm going to be up on mine, singing the praises (and shortcomings) of this film. (One thing I'm grateful for - no excessive foley like in Angels in America. I think you know what I'm talking about...).

Ok, I'm sorry I called you a douche bag. But I hope and pray that someday you'll find it within yourself to open your mind enough to JUST SEE THE MOVIE AND STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THINGS YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN! Because I'm singing the praises of this film, and the Academy is singing with me. And when I sing the loudest it sounds like this: Love is a force of nature! Got it?

I almost don't want to post it...but you know I'm going to.

http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_daily_show/videos/dan_bakkedahl/index.jhtml
Check out "Domestic Pardners"

Recipe of the weekend: rosemary & garlic mashed potatos. Don't have a recipe yet, but I will find one. I finally finished the left over red beans and rice!

I'm a Goddess

I've been meaning to update my blog for a while now and this seems like the best way to do it. I appreciate everyone who posted their forms on their blogs so I could see what the other results on the quiz were without taking it a bunch of times.

You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator.

"And The Goddess planted the acorn of life. She cried a single tear and shed a single drop of blood upon the earth where she buried it. From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into the world."

Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek), Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian).The Goddess is associated with the concept of creation, the number 1, and the element of earth. Her sign is the dawn sun.

As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic individual and people are drawn to you. Although sometimes you may seem emotionally distant, you are deeply in tune with other people's feelings and have tremendous empathy. Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your own self. Goddesses are the best friends to have because they're always willing to help.

Ok, this is Laura talking again. Here's the link to the quiz, although I don't know how to link it all nice and pretty. http://quizilla.com/users/donarepa/quizzes/Which%20Mythological%20Form%20Are%20You?/

For those of you keeping score, last weekend's recipe of the weekend was Taco Bell. (mmm, Seven Layer burritos.) Unfortunately I've found myself indulging quite often and I think that's the reason my face has broken out so horribly as of late. I'm actually wearing concealer today! The weekend before the recipe was none of your business! Someone's getting a surprise!

I went to see Brokeback Mountain again on Saturday. I went with a woman in her 80's I met through Bible Study at the UCC Church I attend. She brought her "friend" Jim, also in his 80's and the two recently got engaged. I think it's a little slice of Heaven that I met these people and got to see this movie with them. How cool is my life? I saw Brokeback Mountain with a church couple in their 80's! Doesn't that rock your feeble clerk world?

Oh Sweet Hell!

Brokeback Mountain among other things

My long wait was finally ended last Friday; nearly a week ago, and yet it’s taken me this long to collect my thoughts and post something here. Know that inside I have been keening since I saw it.

Mostly I can say that I agree with Sam (except that Anne Hathaway plays Jake Gyllenhaal’s character’s wife. Michelle William’s character is married to Heath Ledger’s character.)

I was glad to hear from reviews and other people who’ve seen the movie that this is the kind of film that stays with you – you find yourself thinking about it days later, and in some cases randomly crying. I’ve heard it described as haunting, and now I know it’s not just me because I do become singularly obsessed with things.

While I was absolutely impressed with the stellar performances of the lead men (and women) I have to stay what struck me the most was the film’s writing. Having read the short story (stupidly) I knew what was coming much of the time because the movie is so accurate to the story – which isn’t that long! I was mostly blown away by how characters who don’t say a whole lot can reveal so much in every line of dialogue. The subtle double meaning of some of the lines would occur to me much later and give me shivers.

After seeing this movie there is much to think about. My mom was telling me reviewers in newspapers are trying to describe it as not a “gay cowboy movie” or not a gay movie at all, but a film about two people in a relationship – who happen to be gay men. I wonder if it’s even that. The characters certainly don’t identify themselves as gay. More than a topical film about sexuality, or identity – I walked out of the theatre asking myself a more basic question “What is love?”

I can say that I love the film’s tagline “Love is a force of nature” and as someone who’s had experience dealing with the aftermath of the forces of nature in the past year – I have no problem with the comparison. One of the most shocking things about the film as a whole is the violence – and in more than one way, but I feel this tagline is especially appropriate because these two people come together violently.

“When despair grows in me and I wake in the middle of the night at the least
sound in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be, I go lay down
where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron
feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with the
forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. For a time I rest
in the grace of the world and am free.”

- The Peace of Wild Things, by Wendell Berry.

This quote is part of a “meditation” I prepared for a meeting before Thanksgiving. Coming back to it now, I can’t help but be reminded of Brokeback Mountain and all the beautiful scenes of nature. I think about what it means if love is force of nature. I think about Heath Ledger’s character Ennis who spends his life “in the forethought of grief” and, unfortunately, not without reason. And I sorrow at what some human beings do to other human beings.

Earlier this week I attended a community advocacy training session on GLBT issues – or so it was called. It was an organizers meeting for people interested in the Together Minnesota campaign to stop the state from amending its constitution to basically deny anyone who’s not married any rights similar to the rights of legally recognized couples (I’m not exaggerating.) I was sad to learn that Minnesota has a better chance of keeping this off their ballot in ’06 than my dear home state of Wisconsin.

At the meeting, I was in the process of freaking out over Heath Ledger on the cover of the January issue of The Advocate. (I got my copy free!) and a woman turns to me and says “Have you seen it yet?” No need to explain what we’re talking about. Not in this room. “Yes!” “My wife and I cried for 40 minutes after the movie.” To which I responded “I will never be the same.”

All fondness for hyperbole aside, I believe that is true.

I thought I would include more “issue” material in this post. I tried to write a moving review/editorial that would inspire us all to get more involved in creating change. Or maybe just to get more in touch with the beautiful thinking feeling human beings we are – but if I’ve not succeeded already this post is altogether too long. And if I can’t do that, the best thing I can do is tell you to see the movie and/or read the story which ends with the line

“…but Jack had never asked him to swear anything and he was not the swearing kind.”

The 2nd best thing I have to offer: Friends, ACTORS or not actors, if you’re reading this blog, read this article: http://www.advocate.com/exclusive_detail_ektid23334.asp (if you don’t I’ll find you and nail it to your head.)

Vital Stats

January
Musical of the Month: Into the Woods - not that I spend any time listening to it because my portable CD player just crapped out on me.

After School Program: Starting up again on the 30th. We're recruiting new college student mentors and training them this month.

Working on: All of that and my quarterly report.

Sky: Gray

Snow: another 6 inches the night before I got back from break - but little precipitation lately. It would distract too much from the gray sky.

Reading: The Fellowship of the Ring. (Gandalf decided to lead us through the mines of Moria. It's scary but as long as Gandalf's with us we're fine. He's a great leader.

Movies, most recent: Narnia. Overall I give it a good review! Wish I could have seen it with friends and/or with my mom who read the book to me.

Brokeback Mountain: Seeing it this Weekend!

Phone: Turn it on every night at 9:00. Call me!

Recipe of the Weekend: Red beans and rice in the crockpot - not a real recipe, I'm just making it up.

Happy Holy Days!

Another link for your enjoyement, courtesy of Peter Graening.
http://thinkprogress.org/2005/12/14/silent-night-fraud/

My meditation on the meaning of Christmas comes in response to the thoughts of Bill O'Reilly and a gentlemen I overheard at in the Kmart parking lot who said to his friend "A happy Hanukkah to you, because you know we're not allowed to say Merry Christmas!"

My first response was to feel sorry that this poor man is going through life without the knowledge that he is a jackass. Until I remembered something an intelligent woman told me recently. She said Christians can celebrate Hanukkah if they want to because the Old Testament is part of Christian tradition.

She also told me why she feels "Happy Holidays" is the most appropriate thing to say at this time of year; because Advent is the season of waiting. Insteading of rushing through Advent, happy holidays refers to Advent, Christmas and Epiphany (and/or anything else you want it to refer to).

In other news, I'm saddened by the recent death of actor John Spencer, who played Leo McGarry on The West Wing. Leo was a sexist, homophobic, millionare white man in power, and my favorite character. That should speak a lot for the many endearing traits John Spencer brought to the role. I admired him as an actor for his honesty about his alcoholism and recovery one of the things actor and character shared in real life. In a way, I feel as though I've lost a friend. I believe he, like his character, was a good man and too often I feel that those words are oxymoronic. Leo was going to be a great Vice President! John Spencer will be missed!

That's all for now! Shalom!

(p.s. Last week I was too upset about not seeing Brokeback Mountain to include a recipe-of-the-weeekend, and indeed I was too out of it for that very reason to eat last weekend or even clean myself. This week the recipe is on of my favorites: Red Lentil Curry. If I haven't given it to you yet, ask for it. Plus I've got to boost my iron levels so I can donate blood. Figs and red lentils all around! PEACE!)

Not feeling persecuted enough? Watch "Secular Central" http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_daily_show/videos/most_recent/index.jhtml

Deny, Deny, Deny

I've been planning on seeing Brokeback Mountain since the day I found out about it sometime in September. You may remember my crushing disapointment after rushing out and reading the short story by Annie Proulx and then thinking bemoaning "Now I know how it ends have to wait until December to see it realized on the big screen!" Or perhaps I shared with you my excitement at seeing the trailer on the big screen when I saw RENT (the first time I saw this particular trailer larger than the size of my computer monitor.) But at last December 9th has arrived and I must wait no longer.

Or so I thought. Yesterday I went to look up showtimes and found not only is Brokeback not coming to my local theatre- It's only playing in NY and LA! Why? What's with the assumption that we here in very close proximity to Fargo North Dakota don't want to see a movie that's a love story between two male cowboys? Honestly! What is with this country? Apparently the thought is only people in NY and LA can handle a film that I guarantee is going to be tame compared to what a real NY and LA film should be - AND that kind thinking only reinforces to people in places like Fargo that they're not going to like the movie, which I think if the movie were in theatres here would find them proven wrong.

I reject the notion that only people in metropolitan areas can handle a film with gay content, and I think the fact that this story takes place in Wyoming is a testament to that.

Just last weekend I attended a very classy party with lots of adults who were talking about this movie (thanks to some free publicity provided by yours truly). It was a hot topic! What is this going to do to Heath Ledger's career? Who cares? Did you hear Heath Ledger gets naked? (who cares?) and Did you know that James Dean was bisexual?

I've spoken to college student Heath Ledger fans who will appreciate this movie (perhaps not on the same level as myself) but they would get their 8 dollars worth. But I guess the people at Focus Features don't want their 8 dollars or my 8 dollars for that matter because they just want to keep their shit in NY & LA! Well that makes me not want to give them my 5 dollars and fifty cents (who am I kidding, I can't afford to see it if its not a matinee) but I'm going to give it to them anyway! Why? Because Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal deserve it!!

On top of that: Queer Eye is doing a first ever Month Of Weddings! without a hint of irony! I nearly threw myself from balcony when I heard that!

Here's a link for any straight guys reading this who might need some hand-holding now that they've been introduced to the content of Brokeback Mountain.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10342237/from/ET/
If you're not straight or not a guy or none of the above read it anyway if you could use a good laugh, because he makes a good point at the end.

In closing I'd like to wish a Happy Hanukkah to Bill O'Reilly.

Vital Stats

December
Musical of the Month: RENT (I could say because it ties takes place on Christmas and ties to themes of poverty that I'm working with, but no - it's because I saw the movie and if I ever get over guys singing together - I don't want to know me.)

After School Program: Winter has gone uncelebrated due to snow days and now we're on hiatus for a while

Working on: researching anti-racism trainings (and hopefully getting it done)

Snow: they predicted 10 inches, but I think we got closer to 12

Driving a van: Once. Got it stuck in a drift. The roads are icy.

My Birthday: the 14th

Wish List: We won't go there

Movies
Most recent: Return of the King
Want to see: Good Night and Good Luck (and RENT again!)

Dec 9: Brokeback Mountain and Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe

Going Home: the 23rd

Recipe of the Weekend: Potato and leek soup (soup seems like the thing to make after a snow storm.)

Weather the Storm

So last night and today there was a terrific ice storm here and school is canceled. Along with it our Winter Celebration, for the 7th graders in the after school program, which is too bad but maybe it worked out for the best since my co-cordinator is stuck in South Dakota. Everything and I mean everything outside (including the door to my building and the front steps) is covered in a layer of ice - so think the snow doesn't even crunch when you walk on it! I am actually quite relieved I don't have to drive a van today.

Now if I could just get them to turn the heat down in my apartment, it would actually be quite cozy. I believe it's hotter just because it's the second floor, but it is irritating to come home and have to completely strip off all the extra layers down to the long underware or else be boiling in my apartment - and conversely to have to get completely re - dressed anytime you go anywhere. Ahh well.

Poverty...some thoughts

I know many of us have complained a lot about being “poor college students” or about being “poor” in general. I know my brother has often complained about our family being poor because he can’t have all the things he wants, and it bothers me not because I don’t want people to think my family is poor – but because he doesn’t know what poor is.

I know we’ve all been broke, in debt, out of cash, etc. We may have dipped our feet in the waters of poverty, but can we really claim to be poor as in impoverished while going to college? We’ve had the opportunity to be students of higher education which is a remarkable privilege even in the U.S., not to mention compared other places in the world.

“If you happen to be rich and you find you are left by your lover though you moan and you groan, quite a lot, you can take it on the chin, call a cab and begin to recover on your 14 karat yacht!”

I have a collection agency after to me to the tune of $400.00. This is a portion of unpaid medical bills not covered by insurance. I could have had them taken care of when I was unemployed, but the county sent me a ream of paperwork to go through to verify I didn’t qualify for any other government programs: Medicaid, social security, and I was too busy (or negligent) to follow through with the ream of paperwork. I was altogether consumed by finding a job – and then by having a job and working full time.

So now I have to pay up…and as I said in my first entry (which is the best one-you should read it) as a VISTA I make literally poverty wages. This term of service is supposed to be an experience of living in poverty. But I don’t feel like I’m living in poverty. Maybe because being a VISTA here in Moorhead has its advantages – or maybe it’s because I know that I have enough to survive. I can even afford to pay this *@#$! credit agency before the 29th of December.

Oh make no mistake it sucks to have to scratch $400.00. That’s money I could be spending on friends and family for Christmas or I could be saving to take myself on a trip. I could adopt and care for a stray cat for 400 bucks.

But instead I can choose to look around and say “Damn I’m lucky I can afford to pay that bill.” I mean, what would that credit agency do if I was one of the people at the Churches United Shelter I served breakfast to a few weeks ago? How does a credit agency contact you if you’re homeless?

I recently attended a “Hunger Banquet” at Concordia College for Homelessness and Hunger awareness week. It was one of those were 60% of the people sit on the floor and eat rice while one person present has a salad and lasagna and coffee and desert (and degrees in between). I was surprised to learn that one person represented an income of $50,000 a year. That’s not what we think of when we think of rich -we think of Bill Gates. We think of the 14 karat yacht.

But since going to that Hunger Banquet I’ve been doing some serious thinking about what it means when we complain about being “poor”. And who are we thinking of when we think of “the rich.” This wasn’t meant to be an essay on thanksgiving or anything. But I know the next time I start complain about being poor I’m going to stop and think about how rich I am.

Here are some good links:
http://www.bread.org/
http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_daily_show/videos/nate_corddry/index.jhtml

Hurricane Relief trip - the Highlights

Ok, now that I'm posting this it sounds kind of hokey - put it has a beginning, middle and end, and a theme - if you remember that from writing articles for your highschool newspaper, which I do. My post for today is an article I submitted to the Minnesota VISTA newsletter about my experience as a staff advisor on Concordia College's Hurricane Relief trip to New Orleans this past October.
Recipe of the weekend: Pumpkin pie - to be frozen for Thanksgiving. The recipe is on the can of pumpkin.


Since starting my position in August I’ve answered a lot of questions. It’s hard to know the right way to answer them. As a VISTA my position is an interesting one, since I work at a college - Concordia College in Moorhead Minnesota, but not for the college. It’s difficult to explain to people how I am on the college staff, but I’m actually a VISTA, especially since most people assume I’m a college student. “Actually I work here,” is heard a lot.

At times it’s difficult to know my role in the college setting. I want to go to meetings for student organizations and be involved, but how much should I participate? They’re not my organizations because I’m not a student anymore. So when I first heard about an interest meeting for a Hurricane Relief trip to the gulf coast over fall break, I was interested but reminded myself that this was an opportunity for college students – I am after all, already committed to service here.

But I went to the interest meeting anyway, because I was interested and somehow couldn’t let it go by. Afterwards I visited the campus pastor and told him if there was a need for college staff, I would be happy to make the trip fit into my schedule if my supervisor agreed, even though it meant incurring a little extra expense (no small deal for a VISTA, as we all know.) He responded that there was a great need college staff to go on the trip as advisors.

As advisors, we would be the adult resources for the student leaders, representing the college staff and administration. Each team of two student leaders was responsible for approximately 12 students. In total 158 students were divided among the three sites; Kenner, Louisiana, Mandeville, Louisiana, and Ocean Springs, Mississippi. 28 student leaders were in charge of 14 work groups, and I was one of 9 faculty/staff advisors.

Student leaders motivated and organized their teams, and were responsible for morning devotions and guiding evening reflections, or “debriefing” sessions after each days work. I wasn’t sure I was any more qualified than a student leader, and probably less qualified than some, when I agreed to go but the experience would be worth while.

Kenner, Louisiana is about 20 minutes outside of the city of New Orleans. There we were staying with families hosting us through two different Lutheran Churches. Hurricane Katrina put Kenner in an interesting situation. The only reason Kenner flooded was because city managers evacuated pump operators that could have prevented the overflow of canals. My host “father” experienced some damage to his home, but in his own words it was “nothing compared to what other people have lost.”

We went into the city of New Orleans the first day and cleaned up a churchyard. We started by picking up litter and debris, but eventually we were hauling tree branches and raking the yard. Then we moved on to a house on Emerald Street that was being totally gutted. The student crew that started the day there began by hauling out the furniture that had been underwater, and by the mid afternoon we were tearing up floorboards and hauling out sheetrock and insulation.

You can never really take in such devastation until you see it right in front of you. A water line on the front of every house on a block; a child’s jungle gym dangling on the side of a fence; in the midst of a pile of the entire contents of a home, covered with moldy sheetrock, insulation, and stray boards – a huge flat screened TV, and all the cars everywhere covered in the layer of white dust that tells you this car was once completely underwater.

And even when you see it, it’s hard remind yourself you’re in the same country you were in when you boarded that bus in Minnesota. A storm did this.

I spent only a few hours the end of one afternoon in a house on Pratt Drive in New Orleans – a neighborhood I can never forget. This area is called Lakeview. Eight houses down from the home we were working in is where the levy broke right in the backyard. In this stage of the recovery in New Orleans if a house doesn’t have a huge pile of its sodden contents in the street in front of the house, you can guess the owners haven’t been back yet. The house we were working in was the only one I could see with a garbage pile.

My favorite thing I got to do happened on the last work day. We finished the work at our first site early and went to a second house where the owner wasn’t expecting us for another hour. It became snack time while across the street a group of men were hauling cinder blocks out of the backyard. I went and asked them if they needed help. The man in charge of the project was very surprised and grateful to hear we had come from Minnesota. He was from Texas, himself and the home he was working on belonged to his father in law. Four feet of water had flooded the house, and the man was trying to repair the damage himself so they could sell it. He was very appreciative of a stranger’s offer to help and the first thing he asked me was “did the Lord send you?”

As a VISTA you don’t get many opportunities to roll up your sleeves and do physical labor. Our style of service is indirect. Normally, I spend most days behind a desk sending emails and coordinating an after school program which creates mentoring partnerships between Concordia College students and area middle school students.

I wasn’t sure how this was going to work when I said I’d be a staff advisor, responsible for helping train the student leaders and helping facilitate the debriefing sessions. Would I be able to contribute something meaningful? Or would I just start babbling in the debriefing session thinking what I had to say was insightful?

In the end it didn’t matter what I said in session. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t part of any one work group. It didn’t matter that I was a staff member and not a college student. What mattered was I was there, among some of the most mature, hardworking students I ever met, sharing in an experience. I know some of the students who joined this trip to serve wouldn’t argue with me that we were just as served by the people we had come to help.

As a VISTA I spend some time answering questions, but sometimes questions are best left unanswered. Sometimes the line between Americorps and Concordia doesn’t need to be defined. And as I learned in New Orleans, sometimes my experience will be serving through Americorps and sometimes it will be serving through Concordia. The thing that matters most is the service, and that’s the most important part to get right.

To view a 3 part news piece on Concordia's Hurricane Relief trip, click on this link. It should be cool. I haven't seen it yet.
http://www.cord.edu/about/katrina.php

Accident in a minor key

There are some things you just don't say in a phone message. For one,that somebody died. For two - that you got in a car accident. Even a minor one. So, since I broke one of my own rules last night, I need to give a little explaination.

Yesterday was the first real snowfall of the year - meaning it stayed on the ground. Although technically it hit the ground, melted, then froze again as ice. Yesterday was also the day we picked up our 6th graders for our Linking Up service project that the kids voted on - and took them to two different nursing homes to volunteer by visiting with the residents. However, this story takes place on the way to pick up the kids.

There's a lot to be said about driving other people's kids around. I was really uncomfortable with the concept initially and its still not my favorite thing to do. The thing I've discovered about driving a 15 seater conversion van is that you can not adjust the mirrors from a place where your head will be while driving. Well at least I can't. My arms are too short. So mirrors are practically useless. But the mirrors were not involved in what happened yesterday.

On the way to pick up the van there was some discussion of anti-lock brakes -as I understand it those are the ones that pump the brake for you. All I need to know is if you need to stop and your not stopping push hard on the brake. I employed this technique to perfect effect when upon reaching the school I immediately skid out on an icy patch as I stopped at an all too important stop sign which prevents me from getting run over by school busses.

I stepped hard on the anti-lock brake and wait for the huge 15 seater conversion van to slide to a halt and it does. I did it right. Sigh. As I'm taking inventory of my personal well being after this incident, my thoughts are interrupted by someone slamming into the back of the van. I didn't even know there was a car behind me! So I get out of the van and this girl my age gets out of a tiny car and she asks if I'm all right, I ask how she is. Same thing - she slid on the ice and couldn't stop so she rear ended me. Only the front of her car is totally smashed and the van is fine. Not a scratch I could see. Her hood was dented, headlights broken; so smashed I was struck by surprise and was even heard to stupidly remark "is all that from right now?" as in "or was the front of your car already smashed before you hit me?" Here's my sign.

I gave her my name & phone number in case she needs me to explain what happened to anyone and got her info in case they discover some damage to Concordia's van. I also had to call the Car Pool office once we got to the nursing home and let them know. They weren't too concerned as I said the van appeared to come through without a mark.

This incident, however minor in retrospect, put me in a bit of a state, then as far as driving the kids for the rest of yesterday. But its over now and nothing I can do but get back in the saddle today - or behind the wheel of a great big giant 15 seater conversion van. God be with me!